TUD - The Theory Of Unintelligent Design

In previous posts I've asked the Intelligent Designer to make himself or herself known and explain how some things in life don't seem to be too intelligently designed. I have been contacted!

She is currently living in my attic and prefers to be called Xnu. At least that is how it sounded when I asked. And actually she is not a she. Sexual identity has no meaning for her, but I find it rather blasphemous to call her "it" so I decided to use feminine pronouns when talking about her.

While we are talking about sex, I asked her about why the way plants and animals reproduce is so complicated (see my previous post) and why are there so many different methods. She admitted that getting sexual reproduction worked out was not her best work.

She said she would only be in my attic a short time. She gets bored staying in one place for any length of time. She would have probably left earlier, but she claims there are some spiders living in my attic that don't look like her work and she was going to study them awhile.

I know the skeptics will refuse to believe that Xnu is actually in my attic, but, believe it or not, I have more proof than other proponents of intelligent design. I've got a picture! I asked Xnu if I could take her picture and she said sure. I was surprised when she told me that people take her picture all the time, they just don't know it. Usually she is pretty much invisible, but when she is close to you and she moves some people can occasionally catch a blurred image of her. Because she moves around so much and cameras are now so ubiquitous, she appears in images all the time. Have you ever developed a roll of film or taken a digital picture and all that came out was a blur? That was probably Xnu.

So here is a picture of Xnu taken in my attic. I hope this puts this intelligent design debate to rest. I asked her about whether intelligent design should be taught in schools and her answer was very interesting. I'll talk about this more in a future post.

Xnu said she would probably be moving on soon, but she would keep checking my blog and if she saw an interesting question or observation she might stop by to leave a comment.

Nice lady.

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The intelligent designer, if there is one, sure seems to have gotten confused when it came to reproduction in animals and plants. We are all familiar with sexual reproduction, but many organisms use asexual reproduction. Some even use both sexual and asexual reproduction at different times. Most asexual reproductive strategies result in offspring that are clones of the parent (horror). Some species that use parthenogenesis reproduction (there are no males in these species) have females that act like a male and have simulated sex with another female (horror of horrors). In species that use gynogenesis, there are no males, but females must mate with males of another species, although these males contribute no genetic material to the offsprint. Did the intelligent designer have trouble getting the details of reproduction worked out, or is he/she just a little kinky?

Wikipedia, the user built web encyclopedia, is amazing. If you haven’t used it, you should. The scientific discussion below was mostly copied from Wikipedia. You can use the links to further explore this interesting subject.

There are several methods of asexual reproduction including binary fission. Asexual plants also use: regeneration, vegetative reproduction, and spore formation. (from Wikipedia, Reproduction)

Parthenogenesis (Partheno-genesis from the Greek παρθενος, "virgin", + γενεσις, "birth") means the growth and development of an embryo or seed without fertilization by a male. Parthenogenesis occurs naturally in some lower plants (called agamospermy), invertebrates (e.g. water fleas, aphids) and some vertebrates (e.g. lizards, salamanders, some fish, and even turkeys). (from Wikipedia, Parthenogenesis)

A form of asexual reproduction related to parthenogenesis is gynogenesis. In gynogenesis, offspring are produced by the same mechanism as in parthenogenesis, but with the requirement that the egg be stimulated by the presence of sperm in order to develop. However, the sperm cell does not contribute any genetic material to the offspring. Since gynogenetic species lack males, activation of the egg requires mating with males of a closely related species. (from Wikipedia, Parthenogenesis)

In hybridogenesis reproduction is not completely asexual but instead hemiclonal, with half the genome passing intact to the next generation while the other half is replaced. In hybridogenetic species, females mate with males and both individuals contribute genetic material to the offspring. But when the female offspring produce their own eggs, the eggs contain no genetic material from their father; instead the eggs contains an exact copy of the chromosomes those offspring got from their own mother. This process continues, so that each generation is half (or hemi-) clonal on the mother's side and half new genetic material from the father's side. (from Wikipedia, Parthenogenesis)

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In a previous post I discussed the unintelligent design that put hair on toes. Actually, where hair grows and doesn't grow on a human seems to be haphazard. I understand the purpose of hair under arms and in the pubic areas. I can see the benefit of hair over the eyes and in the nose. I can also see how thick hair on the head and face would be useful in harsh environments. But then why do many men lose the hair on their head as they age? And why don't women have thick hair on their faces? If it was a good enough idea for men, why not women? A woman with a thick beard doesn't sound very appealing, but I'm sure we could get used to it. Who knows, if it were soft, like cats fur, it might be kind of appealing.

Why do we have a thin layer of hair over most of our bodies? It's not thick enough to protect us from the elements. Doesn't the body waste resources growing it? Wouldn't it be better to put that energy into keeping some hair on balding heads? Or grow the hair on your arms longer so you could wear short sleeve shirts year round? Think about it. With more hair on your feet, women could wear flip-flops in the winter!

Speaking of wasted resources. We have this useless hair and the current fashion for both men and women is to spend good money (and endure some horrendous pain) to remove it. Does that make sense?

And what about gray hair? Don't old people suffer from enough indignities without being stigmatized by the obvious change in hair color?

And finally, why is it when you get old hair starts growing in places it never grew before or starts growing longer and wilder? Isn't it ridiculous that a man goes bald at the same time his eyebrows, nose hairs and ear hairs grow like a jungle? You know you are old when your barber asks if he can trim your eyebrows, nose and ears!

If there is an intelligent designer, he/she must have been having a bad hair day when they designed hair.

By the way, the intelligent designer should feel free to jump in and post a reply anytime. I'm sure we'd all like to hear the logic behind hair.



Technorati Tags: Religion Satire Unintelligent Design